When a baby dies, the world stops. Dreams unravel. Time feels broken. For many, the focus rightly turns to the mother—her body, her pain, her heartbreak. But in the shadows of that grief stands another parent: the father. His sorrow is just as deep but often goes unseen.

Fathers feel the loss in ways that are hard to put into words. There’s the shock, the helplessness, the aching sadness. Yet society often expects men to be the strong ones—the fixers, the protectors. So they carry the weight quietly, pushing down their emotions while taking care of funeral plans, comforting their partner, and holding the family together. Their grief may be less visible, but it’s no less real.

 

For many men, fatherhood begins long before birth. They imagine holding their child, teaching them to ride a bike, watching them grow. When that future is suddenly taken away, it’s not just the baby they lose—it’s a part of themselves.

What Fathers May Experience:

• Depression and anxiety, sometimes surfacing months or even years later.
• Sleep problems and irritability, often signs of unresolved grief.
• Guilt, wondering if they could have done something differently.
• Relationship strain, as grief can disrupt communication and intimacy.

Grief doesn’t follow a script. Some couples grow closer after loss, others drift apart. Fathers may try to shield their partner from pain, putting their own emotions on hold. But this can leave mothers feeling alone and fathers feeling misunderstood. Different coping styles do not mean one is right and the other is wrong—they just mean both are hurting in their own way.

How We Can Support Fathers:

• Speak to them directly—acknowledge their loss.
• Create safe spaces for them to talk.
• Encourage healthy ways to cope.
• Include them in remembrance and rituals.
• Promote access to professional support.

Baby loss leaves a permanent imprint on both parents. During Baby Loss Awareness Week, let’s remember that fathers grieve too—even if their pain is quieter. They deserve to be seen, heard and supported.

No father should have to grieve alone. His pain is valid. His healing matters.